How to Have a Healthy Relationship

Sometimes relationships can seem like a lot of work until you sit back and realize just how much you've been given. A thriving, healthy relationship requires some give and take, and is absolutely within your reach if you and your partner are willing to do a bit of work. If you and your partner are right for each other, all the work will definitely be worth it in the long run. 1)Take responsibility for your own happiness. Save yourself several hours of arguing by remembering this one rule: it's not up to anyone else to make you happy. In a relationship your partner will try to please you and make you happy but in the end you are responsible for your happiness. 2)Make good on your words. Follow through on your promises. When you say you're going to do something, do it. Don't say that you'll cook dinner, or get a birthday present, and then blow it off or simply forget about it. What this does is systematically destroy trust. And relationships need trust in order to thrive. 3)Admit your mistakes. If you know you've done something to hurt your partner, intentionally or not, own up to it. Humble yourself and apologize sincerely, without making excuses or justifications like "I'm sorry you made me angry." Commit to changing your behavior. If you notice yourself apologizing for the same mistake over and over, step it up a level. Tell your partner that you recognize this mistake keeps happening, and you want to train yourself to stop. Request help and ask for him or her to gently point it out to you when you're making this mistake again. 4)Be realistic. Every relationship has disagreements and days when staying isn't the easiest choice. But what makes a relationship healthy is choosing to resolve those problems and push through the hard days, instead of just letting issues and resentment fester. Review your expectations. Do you see your partner as a person, with both winning qualities and flaws, or as someone you expect to be perfect? If your expectations are so astronomical that no one could live up to them 100% of the time, you're setting up your relationship for failure. Accept that conflict happens. If you expect to be in a long-term relationship, you're bound to have the occasional disagreement. Remember that one argument isn't the end of everything, and there's no person on earth that you'd agree with all the time. Always ask yourself whether you're better off in the relationship than out of it. If you don't think you're better off in the relationship, then you probably should have a serious discussion with your partner. In a loving relationship, this question almost always gets a simple "Yes." 5)Listen to your partner. Sometimes, all your partner wants is for you to lend an ear and be sympathetic about one of their problems. Other times, your partner wants you to actively give them advice. Know which one your partner is looking for, and try to give them what they want. Being a good listener is all about paying attention to what they're saying and not blowing it off. Listening to your partner will enhance your relationship in many ways. It will help you resolve differences without arguing; let you explore each other's personality more deeply; and even help you pick out an awesome Christmas present. There are no downsides to listening. 6)Show your affection in whatever way you can. There's a difference between knowing that you're loved and feeling that you're loved. Sometimes, we bank on the fact that our partners should know that we love them even when we don't show it. Don't rely on this too much. The best relationships use affection to show love. Do something for your partner that you know s/he will truly appreciate. Whether it means getting up early to mow the lawn, taking the kids to karate, or baking that nutella shortcake, it's often the little favors that say the most. Don't be afraid to show physical affection every once in a while. Loving relationships feed off of the little kisses, hugs, and back-rubs that are mainstays of affection. Do the unexpected. It's one thing to kiss your partner after you come home from work; it's another thing to kiss your wife while you're skydiving, falling 10,000 feet (3,048.0 m) from a plane. It's the thought that counts, so put a little effort into it for huge returns. 7)Be loyal. Make sure he/she knows that you will always be there for him/her. Put him/her first in your life as much as you possibly can. Not that you have to only see him/her ever, or never talk to anyone else, but he/she should know that he/she can always count on you if he/she needs something. Also, expect the same loyalty from him/her. You deserve to feel prized in the relationship just as much as him/her. 8)Do not ever hide anything from him/her. Especially your feelings about him/her and your relationship - whether good or bad! This way you will be able to overcome all the difficulties and challenges together. If something bad happened in your past that still affects you in the present, he/she needs to know about it. Note: you should be able to discuss your sexual history. It is an obligation before you decide to be sexually involved with your partner. But you should make them feel safe and not judgmental and you should expect the same from your partner. 9)Give him/her some space. Everyone needs their own privacy and some freedom, so don't constantly watch everything he/she does. Everyone hates to be watched, stifled and controlled. Do not ever spy on him/her (reading his/her phone, stalking him/her on social networks, following him/her around). If he/she is cheating on you, you will find out. These things cannot be kept secret for very long. But if you spy on him/her and he/she is innocent, you will lose his trust and respect forever. 10)Express your feelings towards him/her. Always remind him/her of how much they mean to you, and what they represent to you. Women are not the only ones who need expressions of love and care, men need that too. If you have a problem, you need to let him/her know - preferably in a clear and calm manner without any yelling. If he says `Are you OK?` and you answer yes, do not expect him to understand that you really meant no. Be honest and open. Let him/her know it is safe to open up to you about what he is feeling. Reward his/her trust in you by sympathizing with him/her and, but you don`t need to say much, just listen. Don't be afraid to lose him/her or spend every minute fearing the huge pain that that might cause you. Enjoy each wonderful moment as it happens, and realize that there will never be another one just like it. Never be pathetic and needy just to make him/her pay attention to you and give you sympathy. A solid relationship should be based on mutual respect; if you are constantly trying to pull him/her down with you, this means you don`t respect him /her enough to want him/her to be happy. If you are depressed, see a doctor - don`t pull some guy/girl into your problems. 11)Encourage him/her. So that he/she can be more successful at work or study. That will make him/her realise how much you care about his/her future and wish that he/she'd become one of the best. It will also make his/her feeling towards you grow even stronger, and he/she will believe that you're ready to support him/her on anything he/she does. 12)Always make sure to notice your partner and compliment them. It will make them feel appreciated.Has your partner got a new dress or has changed their hairstyle? Tell them your suggestions about it. It will make their day. 13)Sweet talking. A simple 'Good morning Beautiful/Handsome' would be an amazing start to your partner's day. Send texts like "I miss you babe" when you miss them. They would definitely feel more loved.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR GIRLFRIEND / WIFE DISRESPECTS YOU

When your girlfriend disrespects you, you have to show her that you won’t put up with her bullshit while also showing her that it does NOT phase you. Doing these two things SIMULTANEOUSLY is KEY. 90% of the time your girlfriend is doing this to test you. She’s not consciously thinking, “I need to test my boyfriend,” it’s a subconscious response. She’s doing it to see if you’re a worthy mate. ALL girls test their boyfriends, it would be futile for you to attempt to find a girlfriend who doesn’t “play games” or put you through “shit tests”. All women are programmed to put their boyfriends / husbands through shit tests to see how well they handle it, test their masculinity, etc. And even if she’s not testing you, when she disrespects you by canceling a date or insulting you, you have to follow protocol. Let’s get the second part down first. DO NOT lose your composure. In fact, it’s a pretty good idea to NEVER lose your composure. DON’T whine. This means NOT sending her a 15 page text message about how upset or mad you are. Easy way to lose attraction with her and make yourself look pathetic. Don’t call her 10 times to cry about something or yell at her. Remember this as a general rule: Always use the LEAST number of words and actions to get this message out: “I’m not gonna put up with your bullshit, and this doesn’t phase me,” Sometimes when she says something that really pisses you off, you’ll want to insult her back or say something to get even. It’s a man trap, don’t fall prey to your emotions. If she says something that crosses the line, then dump her. Walk and don’t call her for 3 weeks. Show her that you have better things to do than waste your time with a disrespectful girlfriend. If you lose control of yourself and start screaming at her the same way she does to you, then you’ve proven to her that your just as out of control as she is. This is what she WANTS you to do. She WANTS you to lose your mind and start ripping off your nuts. That’s why she keeps egging you on. Keep your composure, speak in a calm resonating voice. Don’t throw things or ever resort to any type of violence (banging things, throwing things, threatening, etc) So what you CAN do to handle the situation is to withdraw attention whenever she shows behavior that you disapprove of. You can even talk to other girls to remind her that she’s in a competitive environment. If you want your girlfriend to stop disrespecting you, it is absolutely critical that she realizes that you are a WANTED man, and that if you get tired of her bullshyt, you’ll go and date someone else. The following is a good example of EXACTLY what your response should be like: Making wife jealous. In more extreme cases, you can confront your girlfriend about it. If you’re in front of your friends and your girlfriend insults you, take her aside and ask her “what are you doing?” and make her feel dumb trying to answer the question. Don’t sound like a corn ball and say “I will not put up with this,” you’re not her 2nd grade teacher. But you can say “What are you doing?” in a SLIGHTLY hostile tone, or tell her straight up that you guys are over if she does it again. If she keeps doing it, you can show her the door. There’s a very important mental note you’ll always want to keep: There are thousands of girls out there MUCH better than the girl you have. You DON’T need her. SHE needs you. Her life is boring without you. So DON’T be afraid to shut her out if you feel that she has crossed the line. By simply shutting her out and telling her it’s over until she changes her behavior, you’ve showed her that you won’t put up with how she acts, AND you haven’t lost your composure. Be watchful of a few things. First, you don’t want to ignore / confront her too often because then you’ll have TOO much power. A relationship is still a two-way thing, you don’t wanna completely dominate her. Doing so might make her insecure or unstable. Secondly, make sure you DON’T call her or try and talk to her first after you’ve shut her out. If she doesn’t try and reconcile with you after you’ve given her an ultimatum, then it’s over. It’s her loss. But if you try and talk to her or apologize, your walking into a death trap. You might as well ask her for permission the next time you wanna voice your opinion or use the bathroom. Third, if your married, this is probably not the best idea. You don’t want to go through a divorce because your wife canceled a date on you. You probably shouldn’t have gotten married to a girl that constantly disrespects you. But if you did, there’s still hope. If it’s your wife, you should directly confront her about it. Act swiftly and the next time she does something, talk to her about it immediately. Ignore her or give her less attention when she shows this kind of behavior. Then, reward her with more attention or flowers when she acts in a more reasonable way. You’ll notice that a lot of times, RIGHT AFTER you confront your wife about something, she’ll fix it, and then eventually she regresses back into bad behavior. What you need to do is reward her accordingly when she shows good behavior so that she WANTS to consistently keep it up. The reward/punishment technique I mentioned right above can be really helpful in situations like these. If you don’t like the way she’s acting, then give her less attention. If she does something you really like, show your appreciation with affection and attention. But don’t just turn the entire relationship into a system of rewards and punishment. Withdraw your attention when she really disrespects you, not when she’s 5 minutes late to dinner or something. And give her extra attention when she does something that deserves it. This kind of system works wonders and for every guy out there who might feel guilty about “training” their girlfriends, just remember that EVERY SINGLE FEMALE BEING out there does this with sex.

7 Things A Man Only Does If He’s Serious About You

1)Ask about “that thing” If you had a job interview you were nervous about, or a doctor’s appointment, a meeting about a possible promotion, or just something you had once mentioned was coming up and he makes a point of calling you up after to ask how it went, he is serious about you. Men who aren’t serious about a woman make a point of not asking for too many details about her life. 2)Clarify missed calls Did he take hours to call back? Did he completely forget to text back? If you’re just someone he is having temporary fun with, he isn’t concerned about you getting pissed about those things. But if he makes a point of saying, “Hey, sorry for taking so long, I was hung up in etc, etc” or “Oh my god I just realized you sent me a text when I was at work and I completely forgot to answer! I’m so sorry!” then you’re not someone he is willing to let go of easily. (Men know how much delayed call or text-backs upset us). 3)Offer to help When you mention that you’re moving, or putting together some furniture, or looking for a new car, does he jump at the chance to help? Does he often look for ways he can be of service to you? Men don’t do that just for a woman they are trying to sleep with or casually date for a short period of time. They save that type of effort for ones they are serious about. 4)Plan ahead If you’re just a fling to him, you are (unfortunately) kind of replaceable. But, if he is serious about you, no one else’s presence will do. You’ll know that is the case if he asks you a significant amount of time ahead of time to reserve a day so that you can be his date to something. That means he wants to guarantee he gets your time. 5)Care about your career If he really cares about you, he wants all the other things in your life that make you happy to go as well as possible! If a man has clearly put time into thinking about your career, and coming up with suggestions for how you could advance it or be happier in it, he plans on being around for a while. He is making sure things in your future will be good. Because he plans on being with you then and he wants to be with a woman who is happy. 6)Brags about you If he isn’t serious about you, he may bring you to a party or a friend’s get together, but he’ll most likely leave you to fend for yourself. If he is serious about you, he is proud of you, and he will make a point of being near you to introduce you to people and tell them all about you and your accomplishments. 7)Just wants to cuddle No man who is trying to keep things casual is going to make the terrible mistake of sending a, “Can’t you just be next to me so we can cuddle?” text. They know that sends a serious signal. If a guy sends this type of text, he likes you To be honest i'm still off point number 5 but other than tha im perfect on all counts :D, hope this information is usefull for you :D.